It's What YOU Make It

We are in control of the outcome inevitably. No matter who we think is to blame the only one we should be upset with is ourselves. Our outcome is intertwined with the many decisions we make within our days, We choose to be angry when we're stuck in traffic or we choose to turn the radio on to an upbeat tune and dance. It's all about know yourself, your limits, your boundaries and adapting to suit whatever comes our way.

Who wants to be acquainted with a glass is half empty person, the one who always rains on your parade? No one. What good does it do you in bickering about the boss or your in-laws, it doesn't change who they are or how they treat you. There's a truth in"kill them with kindness". Instead be the only one who cares, make it all about them because our best topic of conversation in ourselves right, ask them about their lives "How was you vacation?", "How's your knee doing since surgery?" I'm currently ready.... well more than one book but the book I'm talking about is ":How to Win Friends and Influence People" a remarkable read in all it's simplicity. I realized I possessed a lot of the traits without realizing their worth. The motto of this book "Be GENUINELY interested in OTHER people". Simple enough right? But in our day and age where it's so easy to get lost in your own world it's challenging to look outward and be empathetic about anyone.

So we take each day in stride and true our best to be our "BEST" selves. Kindness not only makes the other person feel good but it lightens your heart. I think it quite a chore to stay in a slump, I don't feel good about myself, I'm no good to anyone grouchy and unpleasant and I NEVER get that time back; the time that I wasted being miserable.

We say to ourselves "Well when I get a house or when I get married or when I'm rich I'll be happy" and when we get these things guess what we still aren't happy. Why is that? same said reason of you decide to be unhappy.

I've been married almost 7 years now which isn't that much compared to some but it's not that difficult to stay committed to the vows we made because we were give the secret to marriage's success and that is "Love is a DECISION of the WILL" When you really and I mean really listen to those words and let it sink in it's saying "I CHOOSE to love you  no matter what" when we decide it's a selfish thing now and what can I get out of marriage is when the problems occur. As I said earlier " Be genuinely interested in other people", so if you go throughout marriage never asking your spouse about their day at work or home, how they are feeling about different hurdles marriages face and really sit and listen to each other well there's always counselling but it really boils down to the DECISIONS YOU MAKE.

Would love your feedback on the topic. Comment below. Thanks guys

I Need A Vacation

I think it's the NyQuil add that shows the mom peeking in the child's room and telling her she can't make it today in between coughs and the narrator says "mom's don't get sick days". Once you're a mom you're on the clock 24/7. 

The day doesn't seem long enough to get all that you need to get done cooking, cleaning, work, washing clothes, making activities for the children, doing homework, getting a workout in somehow, a few minutes of audio motivational speakers/personal development, prayer, time for husband and whatever else that needs to get done throughout the day.
  
It really does take a village to raise a child all for your sanity. Fellow moms we ll need a break sometimes even if its that five minutes in the morning to drink coffee/tea/smoothie in silence before everyone wakes up. 

I sometimes look at my nails on horror as to how long I've forgotten them. Yikes! Which is probably the reason why a lot of us roll our eyes at the celebrity moms in our equivalent of perfection. But I applaud them for giving me motivation to be all that I can be so I try to make healthier choices and workout regularly after all your health is your wealth.

When the children are fighting or my little one repeats my name for no reason expecting me to answer every time and I'm in the kitchen cooking lunch and washing a load of clothes, I snap onto a beach in a lounging chair in a swimsuit and the sun is warm and the sea is clear and aqua blue and I have a nice tall drink with a book or nowadays a Kindle Paperwhite (yes I know but I don't get to do that lol). I can smile and say soon. I don't know how but it's coming and I deserve it. 

Ah a vacation, obviously the whole family would be there in reality but still ahhhh vacation. I'm so ready for you.

"Me Time" What Is That?

In all the chaos family life can bring; " Mommy I can't find my socks.", "Mommy I'm hungry"and well you know how the rest of this goes the day quickly ends with you passed out on the bed if you're lucky. The to do list seems to get longer every day as the children get bigger ( with all the school projects that end up being your projects, I have to wonder who's the one going to school really).

Growing up I remember the mothers who looked disheveled and their hair uncombed; either their slip was showing or they looked like they were in their pajamas dropping their children off to school with a hustled sort of crazy look on their faces. Or the scenario of the mom losing it in isle 9 at the child who decides at that moment they want to have a meltdown and the mom is all but pulling her hair out. These are clear signs ladies that a short break a day or at least as often in a week as possible is definitely needed.

On my journey of Personal Development that started late last year it presses even more so on the importance of alone time. That time to just breathe and dream and think and set goals and the things you need to do throughout the day. Our mind is  a muscle that needs to be exercised and there must be a balance of spirit, body and mind for us to feel really whole.

So I ask myself every day when can I at least take five minutes to do that? Scheduling it sometimes doesn't always work out and sometimes it happens in those spontaneous moments when you have quiet even if it's in the bathroom lol.

I always hear experts and blogs or articles talk about how important it is to take time for yourself because when you're happy, healthy and spend some time on yourself you make a better parent . The question is how do people who have 3 and more children (we're talking like 7 and up here) where do they find the time? In some situations I suppose a meeting can be held with those that babysit, your spouse etc if it's for periods of time that are longer than 5 mins. In some cases like myself I only have two in tow but the support system in the babysitting area may not be so lucrative I wake up early in the morning get them ready for school and work (prepare food) and when they leave while my little one is sleeping try to take advantage of that time to do all the things I fully have to focus on.

Writing this reminds me of an article in Oprah Magazine of a woman who I think had 12 children and she was a stay at home mom and she would fin time to go to adoration (she was catholic) and set aside time for each child; reading that back then left me in awe and experiencing it firsthand now I'm speechless.

I can usually tell when I'm at the point I need a break just to get myself back on track, to have a ladies night and just laugh and be myself PG13 version. It's the time I find myself snapping at trivial things and I have to take a breath before I answer questions on the loop ( you know what I'm talking about). I don't like that person so I try to snap myself out of it as best I can.

As moms we all do what we can. We get through each day the best we can but I do see how important it is for the me time and the date night . After all we were people before our children's existence and seeing parents lose it in public is a clear sign that we all need a break from mommy duties to feel like ourselves again. Talking to people under 10 all day with no adult conversations in there can get to you after a while and may even make you struggle socially at next event you go to,

No it's not being selfish, it's necessary. You want your children to see you happy and calm, not anxious and annoyed all the time. So take a break.

Happy 2015 !!!!!!!!

Yes I'm late, but life happens. So let's start by me saying Happy New Year!!!! It's 2015 can you believe it? For me 2014 was so fruitful and full of so many changes it seemed to have been a mini lifetime in one year. I discovered so many things about myself, the way the world works and was introduced to "The Secret". You could weigh the pros and cons of the book and all it contains forever but the gist or moral of the story is dream big, be positive and what's so wrong in that. I am so much happier now that I try to focus more on my potential to greatness rather than look at everything that comes into my life in a negative way, it's all how you look at it. It makes me laugh actually because I now realize that a lot of the sayings we know growing up derive from "The Secret" e.g "you can do anything you put your mind to", "the glass is half full", "claim it" well you get what I mean. As seeds have been sown in 2014 I'm excited to see them blossom and grow in 2015. Your mind is such a powerful thing, events may seem like coincidences but it happens way too often to pass it off as that. Do you know how many times in my life I thought about a person and they called me or I saw them randomly or was in search of something and it ended up finding me by chance? Our insecurities of self and self doubt is what stunts us from really growing and blossoming into phenomenal masterpieces.
" Think and Grow Rich", Rich Dad Poor Dad", motivational speakers Brian Tracy, Robert Kiyosaki among many others are basically giving away the information to success in life and yet so many of us are stuck in a rut, unhappy and dissatisfied  with our lives, I know I was there. I may not be a financial success yet but I'm a success in my family and I'm truly blessed as I used "The Secret" without even knowing because I really wanted to find a soul mate and be settled and married and I found it.
2014 was really life changing. 2015 can be life changing for you too if you just open your mind to the possibilities that lay before you and have faith in yourself and your capabilities. God has really blessed us with endless avenues to succeed in life and yet we stay in our hamster wheel doing the same thing over and over wondering why we're not going anywhere. It all starts in the mind, our thoughts, our fears are all set up in the mind that prevent us from moving forward or taking the big leap.
Are you satisfied with your life? Never settle always change and grow. When you've accomplished one goal make another. It's what keeps us young, makes us great and really makes life full. We must live in a balance of mind, body and soul equally. We always tend to put at least one on the back burner but we must always feed our minds, eat healthy and exercise, pray and let go and love to be complete.
So cheers to 2015 I know you're going to be an EPIC year of great success multiple opportunities, forging new lasting friendships and securing old friendships, feeling even more comfortable in my skin and who I am, of growth in personal development and altogether greatness all around.